He will love me even if I can’t give him babies.
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Well I am a person who tries to not let my emotions control the way I act. Most of the time. Today I watched the Notebook and cried uncontrollably. So I am already a basket case. Then my love (whom I haven’t seen in almost a week) doesn’t respond to a text message while out with a friend. Then he posts a status on Facebook. I get so upset that I throw my phone down. :-( I miss him like crazy. I don’t know how long distance couples don’t go completely mad. Anyways I ask my friend what to do. I end up texting him asking if he got my text. After about twenty or so minutes he responds saying how he got it but had just gotten back from the brewery and was tired. Yet he wasn’t too tired to get on Facebook. I’m still so annoyed. Even though he said he would text me before he leaves to come home tomorrow (He’s currently out of town for a conference with his friend.) and that he loves me, I’m just feeling hurt and sad. We usually don’t argue or hurt each other. I didn’t text him back partly because he said he was tired and also partly because I’m saddened by the fact that he didn’t understand that I’d be hurt by his actions. Anyways, it’s not a big deal but I can’t stop my heart from feeling sad. :-(
So I am going to start writing my thoughts down in an effort to find out who I really am. I need to find a way to be comfortable with me. I am discovering that I’m way too dependent on others to have self worth. This is not a good thing. I’m going to start reflecting and meditating. Writing my thoughts in a blog is going to help with this. Hopefully… :-)